Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Could This French Waiter Be a Bigger Cliche?

On Easter Monday, everyone in France is off work. Well, I was already off work since I'm on maternity leave, but it meant I got to spend the day with my husband and son.

We met up with my mother-in-law, Catherine, for a walk. After 11 weeks on bed rest, I was allowed to walk around once I hit the 8-month-pregnant mark (Easter Sunday). We strolled the neighborhood with the intention of grabbing some coffee in one of Paris' numerous cafes.

Coffee in a French cafe
All that for this?

No dice. Everything was closed. It was a holiday but I still thought cafes would be open. And anyway, "Easter Monday" doesn't count as a real holiday. Easter? Sure. But Easter Monday? Next we're going to celebrate Thanksgiving Tuesday and shut everything down.

We finally found an open cafe (incidentally, the one where I took my author photo) and sat at a four-person table on the enclosed terrace. It was half-set: two sets of cutlery, a salt and pepper shaker, and two menus. It was 11:00 am and the place was empty. We'd beaten the lunch crowd and arrived after the early morning crowd.

It still took 5 minutes for a waiter to even come over.

"Are you here for lunch or just drinks?" he asked.

"Just coffee," Mika answered.

"Oh, then I'm sorry," he said, in a tone that indicated he clearly wasn't sorry, "but you'll have to move over to the other side of the terrace."

Was he serious? The place was empty! We would certainly finish our coffee before the lunch crowd arrived. Why couldn't we stay where we were?

"Monsieur, I understand," Mika said, "but is there any way my son, pregnant wife, and mother - who has a sprained ankle - could stay here?" (Catherine's ankle was on the mend and her doctor recommended trying to walk a little, but still - it was really swollen).

"No, sir, I'll need you to move. These tables are already set for lunch."

We relunctantly got up and crossed the terrace.

"He calls these tables set? It was half-set at best." Of all the things to be mad about, Catherine seemed most chuffed at this waiter's definition of a set table. But she had a point.

As we waited for the waiter to take our order, a creepy drunk dude stumbled in to the cafe. The waiter rushed to greet him and showed him to a table right next to us. He took his order, then finally came to take ours. Glad to see the neighborhood drunk gets better service than us.

Drunko lit a cigarette, the smoke of which blew directly our way. This really annoyed me, on top of everything else that was annoying me. See, smoking is banned in all indoor public places in France but you can smoke outside on the terrace. However, this cafe had a "real" open-air terrace and then this pseudo-terrace which was technically on the sidewalk but was completely enclosed by windows. So to me that doesn't really count as "outside" if the smoke can't ventilate. Why couldn't Drunko sit on the real terrace? The waiter thought it was super important for US to move but he wouldn't make this guy move?

Our friendly waiter arrived with Drunko's espresso, serving him first, then splashing our drinks down on our table. We finished them in a hurry, eager to get my pregnant belly and asthmatic son away from the chain-smoking drunk.

What really gets me is you just know Drunko is going to sit there all morning, nursing his espresso and smoking until his cigarettes are gone, leaving no tip and earning the cafe €1. Meanwhile, our total was €8.20 and we stayed for five minutes (not counting wait time).

Mika went inside to pay as we packed up. He handed the waiter a 10 and the waiter did the classic move of hustling and bustling around behind the bar as if he had other stuff to do, in the hopes that Mika would leave before collecting his change. Nice try pal, but tipping is optional in France, and we were certainly not tipping on that crappy service.

I must say (my love for my adopted country is getting the better of me) that most cafe experiences are actually quite good in France so I don't want to perpetuate the stereotype of the rude French waiter. But this guy was pure douche, and therefore needs to be called out. And of course, we're boycotting that cafe. Which means next time we want coffee on a holiday, we'll be extra screwed. But at least we won't have to deal with that guy.

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Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer Now Available!

Three months on bed rest was a bit rough. But it was all worth it to bring my beautiful Stella into the world at full term. To help me pass each day on the couch and view it in a positive light, I wrote a sequel to Confessions of a Paris Party Girl. That way each day glued to the sofa brought me that much closer to completing my book.

I succeeded in my goal of finishing everything but the final chapter before her birth, wrapping up that last chapter while I was in the hospital. People wonder how I find time to organize my tiny apartment and write books--it's because I literally never waste a second! I would have gone crazy on bed rest if I didn't have a project like this. And what's awesome is I now have a tribute to both of my children in the form of a book.

Without further ado, here are the details of my newest "baby":

Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer, by Vicki Lesage


Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer, by Vicki LesageDiapers, tantrums, and French bureaucracy--the crazy life of an American mom in Paris.

Former party girl Vicki trades wine bottles for baby bottles, as this sassy mommy of two navigates the beautiful, yet infuriating, city of Paris.

How does she steer a stroller around piles of dog poop? Or find time for French administration between breastfeeding and business meetings? And will she ever lose the baby weight with croissants staring at her from every street corner?

This hilarious memoir will have you laughing, crying, and wiping up drool right alongside Vicki as she and her ever-patient French husband raise two children in the City of Light.

Buy Now on Amazon.com: Paperback | Kindle

If you've been following my pregnancy journey, you'll enjoy reading about it in my book! Even if you haven't been following my journey, I think you'll enjoy the book (if I do say so myself, and it's my blog so I can).

I'd like to give a special thanks to Elle Marie (aka Mom) for editing, formatting, and publishing my manuscript. Her feedback was invaluable and her dedication to this project was amazing. I think it was therapeutic for her as well to have a project to distract her from worrying about her granddaughter.

I'd also like to thank Marie Vareille, friend and fellow author, for editing my manuscript. Her book, Ma vie, mon ex et autres calamités, comes out June 4 so if you read French, I highly recommend it. I read an advance copy (one of the perks of being friends with an author!) and loved it. It's fun and fresh chick lit, right up there with my other faves like Sophie Kinsella and Talli Roland.


Vicki Lesage, Author

Monday, May 26, 2014

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Living Room

Living in Paris has its joys, but tiny, antiquated apartments are not one of them. At least not if you are a family of four! In this series, I'm sharing my tips on how to survive, room by room, if you live in a tiny apartment.

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Living Room

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Living Room

For a Parisian apartment, we actually have a pretty large living area. But that's because technically they consider it two rooms. When we signed the lease, we originally planned on somehow dividing the space so that part of it would be our bedroom and the rest would be the living area, giving the one bedroom to the kids. However, since I was only one month pregnant with Baby #2 at the time, we figured we had plenty of time to make the arrangements and decided to start out by making a play area for Leo and having the three of us share the bedroom.

Fast-forward a few months and we were way too used to all the (relative) open space to change it now! So we decided to put Stella in our bedroom (it's like a sleepover party but without the party and without the sleep!) and keep our living room as open as possible.

That meant we really had to get our act together in organizing the bedroom, but we still had to arrange the living room well since it contained the kids' play area, our dining table, and our couch + TV area. Here are my tips for organzing such an awkward space:

Minimize the decorations and furniture


We've tried to keep it as simple as possible so that we have extra space for the kids to play and for us to set up our drying rack for our laundry (first thing I'm doing when I move to the US is buying a dryer the size of my house!). In a tiny space, people tend to reduce the amount of furniture they have, out of necessity. But give them a few more inches and all of a sudden there's crap all over the place. When we moved to this palatial apartment (ha!) we kept the same amount of furniture and were thus able to enjoy the extra space.

Tiny Apartment Series: Minimize furniture in your living room

Tiny Apartment Series: Minimize furniture in your dining room

Use multi-function furniture


Our ottoman serves three purposes:
- Foot rest
- Storage for blankets and other linens
- Place for Leo to spill things so that Mommy can constantly wash the washable cover

Central organization unit


Ours is from Ikea (Expedit, but apparently they're discontinuing it and replacing it with Kallax) and it's been a lifesaver. We can hide unsightly stuff in the bins (though of course I have additional organizational units inside most of them!) and display the books on the open shelves. Here's everything we managed to cram into this 16-shelf unit:

- Medicine
- Paper goods: gift wrapping supplies, stationery, pens/pencils/scissors/tape, stamps, checkbooks, passports
- Electrical stuff: spare light bulbs, cables, cameras, chargers, international adapaters
- Files: one entire bin for my French administration paperwork!
- Toys: Leo and Stella's toys take up three bins
- Scarves and hats
- Spare baby stuff
- Spare linens, burp cloths, and bibs

It looks decent and you'd never guess that our entire household's affairs are organized in there. I can easily find what I need and the important stuff is out of reach of the kids.

Tiny Apartment Series: Utilize a central organization unit

Rotate toys


It requires monthly trips to my zombie infested basement (I have a whole chapter on that in my book, Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer!) but it's totally worth it. Our generous friends and family give us more toys than we have room for and we don't want Leo to be spolied or overstimulated, so we keep just a small selection in his play area and store the rest in the basement (or "cave" as they so awesomely call it in French).

Tiny Apartment Series: Keep it clean!

And I'm vigilant about keeping the entire space clean. We're slowly teaching Leo to put his toys away but whatever he doesn't do, I put away each night. Any papers that come in the house (mail, 50 zillion photocopies of my visa paperwork) get treated right away so there's no clutter. It's admittedly hard to stay on top of everything but it would be worse if I had stuff all over the place.

So, sniff, this is the end of my series - there are no more rooms in my house! I'm organized because I have to be - our apartment is too small for us to stay sane any other way.

What are your tips, whether your house is big or small? How do you stay organized with the space you have?

Check out the rest of the series:
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Kitchen
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bathroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bedroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Closet
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Living Room

Want more? Subscribe to receive an email when I post a new article, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Behind the Scenes: Naming Characters

One of the funnest parts of writing is picking your characters' names! As a memoir writer I'm somewhat limited in this because my stories are true. However, you're allowed to change the occasional name, so I've had a little freedom with it. Or I sometimes use descriptive nicknames, like Sage-Femme Bitchface.

Behind the Scenes: Naming Characters

BookDaily.com recently featured an article of mine about naming characters. Be sure to check out the full piece (with all my insightful explanations, ha), but here are some highlights:

1. Vary your characters' names so they don't confuse your readers.

2. Take your characters' ethnicity into account.

3. Factor in your genre.

4. If writing a memoir, you might want to change some names to protect the (not-so) innocent.

What tips do you have for naming characters? What are your favorite characters' names? And has anyone named their child after one of your characters? I may not have invented Khaleesi or Arya, but I'm pretty sure we'll see Sage-Femme Bitchface topping the baby name charts any day now...

My Other Book Daily Articles:

Hot Dogs vs. Caviar
4 Steps to a Charismatic Author Photo
Disrupting the Space and Time Continuum

Want more? Subscribe to receive an email when I post a new article, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Escape to Paris

Vicki Lesage, Author

Monday, May 19, 2014

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Closet

Living in Paris has its joys, but tiny, antiquated apartments are not one of them. At least not if you are a family of four! In this series, I'm sharing my tips on how to survive, room by room, if you live in a tiny apartment.

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Closet

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Closet

Most Parisian apartments don't have built-in closets, much less walk-in closets. So while you might look at my closet and think "She and her husband have to SHARE that space?", Parisians are looking at it with envy. I literally get ooohs and ahhhs when I give the tour. Go figure.

I'm probably the only person on the planet to feel this way, but I LOVE cleaning my closet. From my days of working at a clothing store I learned how to fold nice, neat stacks of clothes and it is SO satisfying to purge my closet then refold everything.

For the normal people in the crowd (i.e. the other 6.9999 billion people on the planet), here are some tips to help keep your closet organized, particularly if you don't have much space.

Clear out the clutter


Many blogs before me have given tips on this so I won't rehash what you can readily find elsewhere. But try these tips for getting rid of stuff:
  • Challenge yourself to wear everything in your closet once. After you've worn it, put it at the bottom of the pile/back of the rack until you've gone through everything once. If you just can't bring yourself to wear something before pulling out a repeat, then you probably need to get rid of it.
  • Ask yourself, "Would I buy this today?" Just because you already own it, doesn't mean you need to keep it. It's a sunk cost - it's not like you're going to earn interest every time you wear it! I had this one sweater I was determined to like and so I forced myself to wear it a lot, and it ended up being in a bunch of pictures. Now everytime I look at those pictures I hate the sweater and wish I would have gotten rid of it a million years ago. Buying the sweater was a mistake but I made it a bigger mistake by wearing it all the time.

In a tiny closet, declutter first then adapt to the space.

Only store clothes and shoes


Once you start tossing other items in your closet, it's a slippery slope. You'll have less room to organize your clothes with weirdly shaped objects taking up space and you'll be more likely to let your nice, orderly closet fall into disrepair. Whatever else you think you need in the closet, take a good hard look at it and see if you really need it at all.

Adapt to the space


I personally love wooden hangers but they take up so much more room than crappy hangers or folding your clothes. One day, when I'm a princess and all my dreams come true, I'll have a closet that's half the size of my castle and I'll buy a ton of matching wooden hangers and hang all my princess dresses on them. Until then, I have to accept what I've got and adapt my clothing to the space. Specifically:
  • Fold clothes instead of hanging them. Each stack has a theme - sleeveless, short sleeve, long sleeve, etc.
  • Toss frequently worn items (pajamas, hoodies) on hooks so I don't have to fold them each time (making it more likely I'll take the time necessary to fold the rest).
  • Baskets for socks, underwear, belts, etc.
  • Hang the stuff that must be hung (dresses, suits, coats).

Another tip I often see is to stash out of season clothes somewhere else. Sounds good, but... where? I don't have anywhere else! As I mentioned in my bedroom tips post, I detest having things under my bed and we don't have space in our bedroom for another dresser or an armoire. Rather than store out of season clothes somewhere else, I think it's better to force yourself to whittle down what you have. When it comes down to it, you probably wear the same 5-10 pieces most of the time anyway!

Is your walk-in closet the size of my apartment? Please don't rub it in! Or is your closet just as tiny as mine? How do you stay organized, particularly if you have to share the space with a spouse or roommate?

Check out the rest of the series:
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Kitchen
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bathroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bedroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Closet
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Living Room

Want more? Subscribe to receive an email when I post a new article, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Stella!!!

Drumroll please... a big welcome to Stella Catherine Lesage!

Stella is here!

May 4, 2014
10:33 am
8 lbs. 7 oz.
20.6 inches

After 3 months on bed rest and the constant fear of early delivery after preterm labor at 25 weeks, Stella arrived surprisingly uneventfully at 38 weeks and 5 days. She and mama are doing well and are enjoying being home with Papa and big brother, Leo.

Of course, after managing to avoid the horrible sage-femme from my 6-month check-up, guess who was on shift during my stay in the maternity ward? Oh well. I shouldn't have to see her again after this, and she was much easier to tolerate when I had a cute little baby in my arms.

Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer, by Vicki Lesage
And my other "baby" is here too! I finished my sequel, Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer. Writing my book was a great way to pass the time on bed rest and see each extra day as more time to finish my book instead of another agonizing day stuck on the couch. Having such a positive goal helped me keep her in there that much longer!

I'd written everything but the final chapter before she was born. I'd just been waiting for my little bundle of joy to arrive so I'd know how to end my story. For those who have been following my journey on the blog, you'll recognize some of the stories but of course there are lots of new ones too.

OK, now it's time for mama to take a much-needed nap!

Vicki Lesage, Author

Monday, May 12, 2014

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bedroom

Living in Paris has its joys, but tiny, antiquated apartments are not one of them. At least not if you are a family of four! In this series, I'm sharing my tips on how to survive, room by room, if you live in a tiny apartment.

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bedroom

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bedroom

Living in a one-bedroom apartment isn't so bad if you're single. It gets a little more crowded once you're married/living with a partner. It gets really crowded once Baby #1 comes along. You feel like an animal in a cage once Baby #2 joins the circus. How on earth does our family of four handle it?

I admit, it's not easy. At the same time, it's not as hard as you'd think. We're all conveniently in the same room if someone wakes up fussy or hungry (which could be my 21-month-old, my baby, or me; usually my husband is able to sleep through the night). I'm guessing most families won't cram four people into a bedroom but you can still benefit from my tips if you're trying to make do with a small bedroom:

Only use the bedroom for sleeping


Goodbye, TV. So long, reading nook. See you in a few years when I'm living in a bigger place. In the meantime, the bedroom is purely for one function - sleeping. Remove as much other furniture as possible. In our room we have:
- Our queen size bed
- Two cribs
- The kids' shared dresser
- A nightstand (which I considered getting rid of but we need someplace for the lamp since we don't have an overhead light)

A crowded room feels much smaller. Look around your space. What do you really need?

In a tiny bedroom, eliminate unnecessary furniture and streamline the color scheme.

Nothing under the bed


This goes against a lot of tips I see where people suggest maximizing your small space by storing things out of sight, such as under a bed or crib. I just can't do this. Even if I can't see it, I can feel its presence and it makes the room seem even smaller. If you have something that's not important enough to take up a more prominent spot, question why you have it in the first place. Could it go into storage? Could you get rid of it altogether?

In the past when I've stored things under the bed, my feet would bump up against them while I made the bed. And everything would get really dusty and was super hard to clean. And if you look at the bed from a distance, you can usually see all the junk under it. So while it seems like a good idea to store stuff under the bed, you'll actually feel like the space is much bigger if under the bed is 100% free of clutter.

The only downside is now zombies have a place to hide, but I can't solve all the world's problems.

Always make the bed


Speaking of beds, I always make my bed. Every day. It's the best use of 1-2 minutes I can think of to make your room feel pretty, cozy, clean, and fresh.

Have one nice piece


In a small room, we're definitely going for function over form. But you can still have a little fun with it. Pick one item to be your room's Wow Factor and base the room around it. We chose our headboard to be our focal point. It's plush, cozy, and "French chic". It adds a little class to the room while still keeping the overall flow simple and clutter-free. It adds a little color so we're not drowning in a sea of white, without dominating the room. What's your piece de resistance?

Is your bedroom the size of Barbie's dreamhouse? How do you stay sane and avoid bouncing off the walls?

Check out the rest of the series:
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Kitchen
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bathroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bedroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Closet
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Living Room

Want more? Subscribe to receive an email when I post a new article, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Face Mask Fail

One of the many joys of pregnancyaside from reflux, fatigue, and perpetually being uncomfortablewas acne. Some women get that beautiful healthy glow. Lucky!

I got the teenage zit-face sheen instead. Thank you, hormones.

Face Mask: Fail

So I tried this DIY Face Mask, which I'm sure would work great for every other normal person who tried it. But I think you can tell where this post is going.

Normal person:

1. Follows directions
2. Uses honey and cinnamon, as the ingredient list states
3. Measures 1 teaspoon of each, as the directions indicate
4. Stirs in a bowl for even distribution
5. Applies gently and lets set for 5-10 minutes
6. Scrubs while removing, to exfoliate
7. Ends up with fresh, acne-free skin

Photo credit: spratmackrel / Foter / CC BY-SA

What I did:
1. Did not follow directions
2. Used lite pancake syrup because it tastes gross and I wanted to get rid of it and figured it was close enough to honey, right? Wrong. I did at least use cinnamon.
3. Did not measure the quantities, instead just eyeballing it. How hard could it be to gauge a teaspoon? Now I don't have to wash a measuring spoon!
4. Put ingredients into left palm, rubbed around with right palm. Now I don't have to wash a bowl and spoon, either!
5. Applied to face, scrubbing as I went. On this step, I was not intentionally trying to ignore instructions, I just totally spaced out.
6. Tried to let it set for 5 minutes, but only lasted 30 seconds because of the burning. Oh my god the burning! Rinsed gently but quickly, trying to remove every last trace of the wicked concoction before my entire face melted off.
7. Ended up with a bright red face that throbbed for a good 10 minutes afterwards. But... the acne had dried up!

Will I be trying this again? Maybe. Will I remember to follow directions? Probably not.

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Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Paris Is Always A Good Idea: Voyage Into A Great Book!

Audrey Hepburn had it right when she said "Paris is always a good idea." The City of Light is loaded with charms and wonders you can't find anywhere else on the planet.

Paris is always a good idea

Books about Paris are a surefire hit – from romance to mystery to intrigue, what better way to fantasize about Paris than reading a book about it, preferably over a glass of Bordeaux?

I've hand-picked a selection of French-themed books below and to help you decide which ones fit your style, I've asked each author the following questions:

1. Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris/France?
2. If your book was a drink, what would it be?
3. Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
4. Who would absolutely hate your book?

Read their responses and check out their books!

Becoming Josephine
Becoming Josephine
by Heather Webb
Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris?
Becoming Josephine is about a famous and beloved French historical figure and much of the novel takes place in Paris.

Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
One of the scenes set during the September Massacres, also, perhaps one of the hotter scenes between Napoleon and Josephine.

Genre: Historical Fiction, Women's Fiction

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $15.00 | Kindle: $7.99

Connect with Heather:
Website | Facebook | Twitter

Je T'Aime Me Neither
Je T'Aime, Me Neither
by April Lily Heise
Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris?
Paris is almost a character in my book rather than the setting, perhaps a coy antagonist? I'd like to think that the passion of Paris was a root of most of my romantic misadventures, but I can't blame it all on Paris!

Who would absolutely hate your book?
Readers looking for an idealized story of Paris. Truth is more interesting than fiction, but reality can clash with some people's dreams of perfect Paris.

Genre: Memoir

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $13.49 | Kindle: $6.99

Connect with Lily:
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

Gastien: The Cost of a Dream
Gastien: The Cost of a Dream
by Caddy Rowland
If your book was a drink, what would it be?
If The Gastien Series was a drink, it would be absinthe, of course! That was the preferred drink of the bohemian artists of nineteenth century Paris. Strong, beautiful and mind-altering, the "green fairy" is a drink that forges its own path, daring to be different.

Who would absolutely hate your book?
People who don't like dark, raw, gritty, emotional, and - at times - brutal stories would hate my book. I don't write "pretty" stories, I write about the sublime joy and bitter tragedy of being human. That doesn't guarantee "happy" but it does guarantee "real".

Genre: Historical Fiction, Family Saga, Drama

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $14.99 | Kindle: $4.99

Connect with Caddy:
Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

Paris, Rue Des Martyrs
Paris, Rue des Martyrs
by Adria J. Cimino
Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris?
It will transport you to the Paris of Parisians... You won't feel as if you have vacationed in Paris, but as if you have lived there.

If your book was a drink, what would it be?
Café au lait: Bitter and sweet, dark and light... Opposites come together, creating unforgettable flavor!

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $14.99Kindle: $3.99

Connect with Adria:
Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

Confessions of a Paris Party Girl
Confessions of a Paris Party Girl
by Vicki Lesage
If your book was a drink, what would it be?
A glass of red wine – classy but accessible. You want to share it with friends and you have fun drinking it.

Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
The airplane vomit story, for sure. Or maybe the passing-out-on-the-bathroom-floor story. If you enjoy drinking, this might make you stop. If you don't drink, you can smugly watch me learn my lesson. I do eventually grow up, it just takes a while.

Genre: Memoir

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $14.99 | Kindle: $4.99

Connect with Vicki:
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads

I see London I see France
I see London, I see France
by Paulita Kincer
If your book was a drink, what would it be?
An Absinthe Chocolate Cocktail. Traveling with three kids while figuring out if a marriage is worth saving brings some definite worries, thus the absinthe to help forget those worries. And the chocolate, well that makes everything better, right?

Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
Some of the scenes in my novel are hot, but they don't get into graphic details of slot a fitted into slot b. What might raise some eyebrows would be Caroline, the main character's, realization that she may have some prejudices. She rolls around the beach in Nice and is certain she is ready to break her marriage vows to have sex with a sensual gypsy man (think Johnny Depp). She leads him up to her hotel room and realizes she's never been inside a building with the man. She only pictures him outdoors. And the prejudice of the hotel clerk plants doubt in her mind. Most middle class Americans have trouble admitting they may have prejudices.

Genres: Fiction, Women's Fiction

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $14.00 | Kindle: $4.99

Connect with Paulita:
Website

Paris Was The Place
Paris Was The Place
by Susan Conley
Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris?
At times Paris Was the Place is like a guided walking tour of Paris. You get to eat delicious crepes, hear some good jazz music, drink red wine and fall in love.

Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
When narrator Willie Pears falls for a Frenchman she meets in Paris, she jumps in his truck and heads to the South of France. It's a drive that turns out to be one long roadtrip of foreplay.

Genres: Fiction, Women's Fiction

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $26.95 | Kindle: $10.99

Connect with Susan:
Website | Facebook | Twitter

The Paris Game
The Paris Game
by Alyssa Linn Palmer
Why is your book a "good idea" for someone who loves Paris?
It's an especially good idea if you're fond of late night jazz, or wandering the streets of the Left Bank. That's where I focused most of the story.

If your book was a drink, what would it be?
Something quite strong, whiskey on the rocks.

Which scene might raise a few eyebrows?
The entirety of chapter one.

Genres: Mystery, Romance, Suspense

Buy now or read the book's description:
Print: $15.95 | Kindle: $4.99

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 Vicki Lesage, Author

Monday, May 5, 2014

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bathroom

Living in Paris has its joys, but tiny, antiquated apartments are not one of them. At least not if you are a family of four! In this series, I'm sharing my tips on how to survive, room by room, if you live in a tiny apartment.

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bathroom

Tips for a Tiny Apartment: The Bathroom

Before I dive into the tips, let me set the scene. Most Parisian apartments have one room for the toilet, which may or may not have a sink. Then they'll have a separate room for the shower/bath, and that will have a sink. It's a ridiculous waste of space in a space that's already ridiculously small. And while I could kind of understand their desire to keep the toilet separate from everything else, shouldn't there always be a sink in the same room? Plus, if you just combined the two rooms, you'd have a large enough room where the toilet could be quite far from the rest of the elements in the bathroom. I'm not buying it.

But I am stuck living in it.

So without further ado, here are some tips on how to live comfortably if you're stuck with a tiny bathroom:

Minimize your products


Do you really need 4 different types of shampoo? Can you and your husband/roommate/kids use some of the same products? Are some bottles close to empty? You can't streamline everything but see what you REALLY need and what you can consolidate. For example:

- My husband has amazing hair and can use any shampoo, so he uses my son's baby shampoo.
- I'm one of those people who squeezes every last drop out of every bottle/tube/jar, so I try to hold off on buying a replacement until the absolute last minute so that I don't have duplicates taking up space.
- If I try a new product I don't like I immediately give it away/toss it/recycle it. If I don't like it today, I'm not going to like it tomorrow so there's no need to have 10 different types of lotions lying around.

In a tiny bathroom, close the shower curtain and use a minimal color palette

Close the shower curtain


In my kitchen tips post, I mention the importance of keeping a small area clean so that it feels bigger. That holds true for bathrooms as well. One of the quickest ways to give the impression of being clean without having to scrub it down every day is to close the shower curtain. Now you can't even see the shower/tub! I usually let it air out 5-10 minutes after taking a shower, then close the curtain. The side benefit is that by stretching the curtain out, the curtain itself airs out and won't get the gross mildew and/or hard water stains as quickly.

Use a tiny trash can


We don't generate much trash in our shower room so rather than have a can taking up precious space (and attracting my toddler's attention) I have the world's tiniest trash can under my sink. It pretty much only sees make-up remover pads and cottons swabs so I can go quite a long time before emptying it.

In a tiny bathroom, use a tiny trash can to save space!
Since everyone got a kick out of my tiny kitchen trash can, I figured I'd show my even tinier bathroom trash can. Normally he hides under the sink but I took him out so you can see how small he is compared to soap and toothbrushes.

Minimize colors and use white as much as possible


You'll be somewhat limited with this if you're renting (like us) but you can at least try to have accents (shower curtains, rugs, towels, mirrors) in white or light colors. The fewer competing colors, the larger the room will feel.

Minimize decorations and store things out of sight


Originally I had perfume and cologne bottles lined on the shelf below the mirror. It was handy and I thought it added a nice French touch. But the shelf is just a little bit slanted and one day one of the bottles lemming-ed (I'm making that a word) its way off the shelf. It was a sad day. So I stashed the rest of the bottles under the sink, leaving just my seashell on the shelf. And you know what? The room doubled in size. Less really is more. Take your decorative items to other parts of the house that can showcase them better and leave the bathroom as sparse as possible.

Do you have a tiny bathroom? What do you do to stay sane?

Check out the rest of the series:
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Kitchen
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bathroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Bedroom
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Closet
Tiny Apartment Tips: The Living Room

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Life's short. Laugh more. Buy my books at Amazon.com.

Vicki Lesage, Author