My liver is much happier these days, and of course I'm thrilled to have two adorable little noisemakers of my own. But, man, sometimes wouldn't it be nice to just clean out a bar? To drink ALL the drinks? Shh, liver. No one's asking you.
In honor of the good ol' days (if passing out on bathroom floors is considered "good"), raise a glass to my Drinking Hall of Fame:
Grossest Drink: Bloody Mary with too much Worcestershire sauce. Tasted like barbecue-flavored mouthwash.
Grossest Shot: Jaeger Bomb with champagne instead of Red Bull. You'll burp tiny Jaeger-bomb-covered bubbles all night.
Craziest Drink: 3 glasses of absinthe, complete with melting the sugar in a spoon like a drug addict. Considering each drink is as strong as 5 glasses of wine, I shouldn't be surprised I ended up booty shaking on the bar to "Baby Got Back."
Priciest Drink: A caipirinha at Hemingway Bar at The Ritz Paris only set me back a mere 25 euros ($32). Do you know know how many CASES of Milwaukee's Best I could buy with that?
Latest Night: 10 o'clock. In the morning.
Now, who's free Friday night?