I don't think any of us were really in suspense at the end of last week's episode. Would Martinez kill a little girl? No, he's not THAT cold. Would Martinez kill The Governor? No, why would he kill him now when he had a bajillion better opportunities to do so earlier?
So Martinez pulls my least two favorite people on this show (Bob and Tyrese, you're off the hook this week) out of the pit and brings them, with Tara and Lily, back to his camp. He's the leader of his new camp (Go Martinez!) and their motto is "No Dead Weight." Everyone agrees to contribute and I'm still wondering why this family left the safety of their home for this but whatevs.
Tara gets a girlfriend, Alicia, pretty quickly (oh yeah, last episode they clunked us over the head with the fact she's a lesbian). Alicia's tough and knows how to use a gun, a skill our little sheltered family really needs to pick up quick.
Martinez, Guvs, a hottie named Pete, and Pete's no-way-they're-blood-related brother Mitch (aka Charlie from Fringe - we miss you Charlie!) all go out on a recon mission. They pass a beheaded dude wearing a "liar" sign, another beheaded dude wearing a "rapist" sign, and the guy who likely did that to them, who shot himself in the head, but not before making his own "murderer" sign. They enter Murderer's cabin and of course Guvs is the only one who can protect the gang from the zombies within. And true to his nature, he kills them just a few too many times. Like, dude, one blow to the head will probably do but nooooo he has to bash them in with the good end of his flashlight until they're deader than the undead who are redead. He's leader of the Overkill Klub (which might not be a bad club to join in the Zombie Apocalypse).
They drink a few beers before heading back to camp. I'm cringing at how nasty those warm beers must taste, but I'm not saying I wouldn't have had one myself.
Back at camp, Martinez is hitting golf balls and caddy Brian is handing him his balls. Heh. The symbolism is not lost on Brian. Martinez admits he's not sure he can keep the camp safe and this is the final straw for Guvs. After all, he has a new pseudo-family to protect. So in the name of love, he whacks Martinez over the head with a golf club and then says, "How do you like THEM balls, huh?" Or at least he should have said that.
And, because he's eeeeeevil, he can't just kill Martinez like a normal psycho, no, he has to feed him alive to the walker pit. This guy really is the worst. Lucky for him, nobody saw what happened.
Finding themselves without a leader, the group is a bit lost. Pretty Pete steps up and Guvs goes along with it, at least for now. Guvs, Pete, and Mitch go hunting, where they spot another camp. Mitch wants to kill 'em and loot 'em but Pete is channeling his inner-Rick and doesn't want to. Their hunt is a bust and to add insult to injury, they pass the camp on the way back and see it had been uber-quietly killed and looted in their absence. I guess that's what scared all the game away. Mitch is pissed and we're not sure Guvs thinks, but I have a guess.
That night, Guvs decides he and his family need to hit the road. He's not impressed with the new leadership in this camp but he doesn't want to be a leader again. (Good call, dude.) But they hit a muddy patch in the road filled with zombies who are eternally stuck. It's a creepy scene made creepier by the fact they're in the middle of the woods and the only light is from the headlights of their truck. Guvs is like "F this, I just can't win" so they head back to their camp.
But the next day Guvs is like, "F this, I CAN win" and does so by straight up murdering Pete in cold-blood. No! Pete's so pretty! Not fair!
Then he goes up to Mitch and is all "Bitch, listen. I just killed your brother. Smoke a cigarette. No really, I don't care if you quit, it's the freaking Zombie Apocalypse so smoke. There we go, good boy. Now I'm showing you who's in control. So yeah, like I was saying, I killed your brother. You have two choices. Join him or join me. What's your pick? I have cigarettes!"
So dumbass Mitch joins Guvs because we're supposed to believe Guvs is like super-persuasive. If someone killed my brother I would probably take a cigarette (Why not? It's the apocalypse, might as well start smoking) and be all like "Yeah, cool, I'm with you." But then I would stab that SOB in his sleep that night. But is that what Mitch did? No. Because he's a dumbass. (Side note to my brother: I just straight up said I would KILL for you and you still haven't read any of my Walking Dead recaps! Don't make me reconsider!)
So now Guvs has a loyal follower who may be a dumbass but he's also a badass. Basically Shane 2.0.
The camp motto is still "No Dead Weight" but with a better (well, in some ways) leader in charge they actually put it to good use. They secure the perimeter and put in place some other defenses. Of course, a sneaky walker still gets in and almost kills I Panic Once A Day Megan, but Guvs saves the day. Because that's what he does, saves the day and shows people they should follow him if they want to be safe.
In case you thought that maybe he was actually not all that bad (like, if you missed the part about feeding Martinez alive to the walkers or killing Pretty Pete or making a former smoker START SMOKING AGAIN), we get final verification that he's still a Baddy Bad Guy Who's Bad. Guvs is all chilling out by the lake, looking serene, thinking about life and marshmallows, but then we see that he has Pretty Pete anchored to the bottom of the lake, the first resident of Fish Tank 2.0. Noooooo! Not my Pete!
Raise your hand if you think Guvs is going to attack the prison next week. If you're not raising your hand then clearly you weren't paying attenion. See you next week for the mid-season finale!