A Story About Stories

Remember back when I used to write stories instead of just doing giveaways all the time? Me neither!

Photo credit: Mamalode

But this month I'm back on one of my favorite sites, Mamalode, with a story about stories. How meta.

It's called "One Walk, Two Interpretations" and is about how I feel rushed in the morning taking Leo to school, with all the horns honking and bustling construction sites, while to him it's an amazing world full of wonder. I like his version better.

Check out the full story here: One Walk, Two Interpretations

Kindness After the Paris Attacks

Immediately following the November 13th Paris attacks, I was contacted by a few different sites to write an article about it. Being less than two miles away from where one of the attacks happened, and living in a city where the effects of the attacks continue to be felt, it seemed I was a decent candidate to write about them.

I was flattered. But I was also at a loss for words. I couldn't really figure out what I wanted to say about it. What was different about my experience? We'd all gone through it in different ways, some much more affected than others.

Finally, I was able to put something in words, taking on the angle of a parent with small kids.

I shared my story over on TODAY Parents: "Kindness After the Paris Attacks". Give it a read and feel free to leave a comment!

What to Give Santa? What About This Tasty Cocktail...

This month, Bon Bon Break has a lovely theme: Giving. Their posts range from funny to heartwarming, from interesting reads to helpful tips. And the theme is sponsored by Water Aid, an incredibly worthy cause. (Check them out on Facebook and Twitter.)

So why am I yakking on about it? Well, besides being a big fan of Bon Bon Break AND charitable causes, I also wanted to share a post I wrote for the theme. Here's a teaser:

With two young children in my house, there’s a lot of focus on what Santa is going to give them. But what about what we are going to give Jolly Ol’ St. Nick? My kids better be careful or they’ll end up with lumps of coal in their stockings. And last I checked, that wasn’t anywhere on their lengthy wish lists.

Christmas Cookie Cocktail

Read on for the rest of the story and the recipe!

8 Things to do Once the Kids Go to Bed

The other night Mika had to work late. He NEVER does that. Which means I'm NEVER alone with both kids on a busy weeknight. I had to pick them up from the creche/school and get them both home. Uphill, sweating, as Leo pointed out one motorcycle that was broken and EVERY MOTORCYCLE IN THE ENTIRE CITY OF PARIS that was not broken. There were a lot.

Then I had to cook them both dinner. Then give them both baths without them drowning. Then get them to bed without them screaming.

I realize a lot of parents fly solo all the time: single parents, parents with a spouse in the military, or parents with a spouse who works late or works a different shift. That's not me. I'm totally spoiled because I almost always have Mika by my side to help! He's awesome!

I was sure the evening would be a disaster because even regular evenings are tough. But the kids were angels! It was amazing! For a second I wondered if I'd picked up someone else's kids from the creche/school!

Then I had a little time to kill before Mika got home. What to do... Luckily I wrote an article about it on BLUNTmoms! Check out 8 Things To Do Once the Kids Go to Bed if you find yourself with a few surprisingly peaceful late-night moments.

Here's a taste:

4. Catch up on your email. Then get distracted by an article about leggings or vaccines or belly wraps, and blow through the rest of your free time without clearing a single email from your inbox.

Because, yeah, with all the things I could have done with my free evening, that's how I ended up spending it. Check out the full article for the other 7 ideas!

6 Apps That Should Totally Exist

Are you reading this on your phone?

If yes, then you're totally going to love this article.

And if not, your phone probably still isn't too far out of reach, so I think you'll still like this article.

Check out my article, 6 Apps That Should Totally Exist, over on Sammiches & Psych Meds, because seriously, these apps should totally exist!

8 Ways Substitute Teaching Prepared Me for Parenthood

Back in college I was a substitute teacher. You'd think that would mean it was the kids who were doing all the learning, but I learned quite a bit myself...

Today I'm over on BonBon Break with 8 things in particular I learned. If you count this as learning:

#5 Don’t let them pit you against their regular teacher/ the other parent.

“Mrs. Brown lets us talk while we write our essays.”

“Dad lets us eat pizza and candy for breakfast.”

“Mr. Elliott said it’s OK to eat Cheetos in chem lab as long as we share.”

Don’t be fooled! Your subs said it to you, now it’s your turn to say it: “Well, I’m not Mrs. Brown/ your Dad/ Mr. Elliott!” And go ahead and confiscate all that pizza and candy and Cheetos for yourself.

Want to find out the other 7 things I learned? Check out the full post: 8 Ways Substitute Teaching Prepared Me for Parenthood

Debutante Ballin'

I've got a guest post over on The Debutante Ball, which is a site that almost seems too classy for the likes of me! So go ahead, check me out in my new digs.

Need some reasons?
1. Learn how I work and sleep at the same time.
2. Find out what scares me the most.
3. Get a sweet recipe for Aperol Spritz.
4. Enter for a chance to win a copy of Confessions of a Paris Party Girl.
5. Do you really need more reasons than that?!?

Get clickin': 5 Confessions + 1 Sweet Recipe. Thanks, and good luck in the giveaway!

Five Glorious Minutes

Sometimes sleeping five extra minutes is all you need. Or, if you have young kids, it's all you can realistically hope for.

And sometimes getting a five-minute break from all their loud, adorable, obnoxious, sweet noise makes all the difference in maintaining your sanity.

So check out my story, Five Glorious Minutes, on Mamalode as part of their theme for July: Dive In. And stay cool this summer!

Only 19 Steps?

Summer's here, and if your kids are anything like my adorable, squirmy little ones it takes a million steps before you can get the sunscreen on and the kids out the door. Nineteen steps, to be precise.

Thirty minutes of lathering up for ten minutes of fun before they get bored

Today I'm over on BonBon Break with all 19 of those steps. To give you a taste, here are #3 and #4:

3. Slather the first kid up with sunscreen while the other one gets into your nicely packed beach bag, spreading all its contents on the floor.

4. Tell the first kid to put their shirt back on while you round up the other kid. Don’t trip over all the crap on the floor.

Can you relate? Check out the full post: 19 Steps to Putting Sunscreen on Your Kids

6 Things Kids Learn and Adults Forget

I'm not sure what's the bigger cause of losing my mind: getting older or having kids. Either way, I've forgotten eleventy-point-five percent of the things I've learned (and I studied math so you can trust me on that number).

I at least managed to remember enough to write this article for BLUNTmoms: 6 Things Kids Learn and Adults Forget.

Here's a taste:

5. If you wear glasses, you’re still the same person. My baby daughter just learned this the other day. Her expression was priceless when she realized mommy is still mommy even with really big sunglasses on. The people of Smallville still haven’t realized that Superman is just Clark Kent without glasses (and extra-tight undies).


Check out the full article, and share what things YOU knew as a kid but have since forgotten (that is, if you can remember!!!).

Giraffe Parenting is the new parenting style on the block

Is anyone else getting sick of all these new parenting fads? I can't even keep them all straight anymore. I just want something simple. Something like... giraffe parenting? Is that a thing? Why yes it is: Giraffe Parenting: The Latest Parenting Trend. (My article on BLUNTmoms)

Vicki Goes Camping

Did you read the title and snort out your coffee? Ah, you know me so well. This is more like me:

So don't worry. This post is not about me going camping, or even me setting one foot outdoors. It's actually about a review I did of the children's book Tovi the Penguin Goes Camping over on The Steadfast Reader. I compared Tovi's experiences with my own experiences camping. And there's even a cute (if I do say so myself) photo of Leo and Stella fighting over the book. Enjoy!

Interview with BlogExpat.com

Four score and seven years ago (er, 10 years ago) I moved to Paris. Why? How? Did I write a book about it? Why? How?



BlogExpat.com asked me those fun questions... and here are my equally fun answers: Interview with Expat Author Vicki Lesage on BlogExpat.com. Check it out, and discover which part of my book was the hardest to write!

What makes Paris so naughty?

Still smiling! And holding a book!

Several years ago, I met Heather Stimmler-Hall at a fundraiser for SOS Help. She was smiling, standing behind a table with a pile of her books, Naughty Paris: A Lady's Guide to the Sexy City. Um, yes please!

The autographed copy holds a treasured spot on my bookcase, as most of my new book purchases are ebooks. I admit, though, that in recent years the most I've done is flip through the pages of Naughty Paris, admiring the pictures and dreaming about getting out of the house.

Because, in case you don't follow my blog religiously (sniff), I've been busy being pregant and having babies the past few years. I hardly have time to brush my teeth, let alone treat myself to everything this glorious city has to offer.

But you know what? It's about time I did. I only have 5 vacation days left until June, but assuming I don't use them all for strikes at the crèche or sick days for the kids, I think I might just take a day all for myself. (Side note: the Americans reading this are wondering what I'm complaining about and the French are crying over the pathetically small number of vacation days I have left.)

So, lucky for me, the lovely Heather has just released a new version of her book, updated with even more wonderful things to do in the City of Light. And even luckier for me, I have Heather here with me today to answer a few questions.

French 101: Virgins and Baby Fleas

Sometimes I feel like I'll never learn French! Though I've lived in Paris for 10 years now, there are still so many words I don't know, so many times I trip up.

I can talk about anything medically related to babies since I have tons of experience in that. I surprised myself in a work meeting recently where I smoothly discussed additions to the website, like all the steps necessary in adding new products or tracking tags.

But ask me what a baby seal is called and you'll be met with a blank stare. Though, to be fair, I had to look up what it was called in English too. (It's a seal pup. Could that be any cuter?)

My two-year-old son has mastered the French term for "garbage truck," which is good since he says it 24 hours a day. He also knows "baby seal," so he's got my French beat by a mile. Read on to find out what a seal pup is called in French, as well as an embarrasing story about confusing virgins with baby fleas: Mamalode: Virgins and Baby Fleas.

You Can't Kill Free Speech

By now I'm sure everyone's heard about the terrorist attack at Charlie Hebdo in Paris on January 7, 2015. It made international news, not just because it was a terrorist attack (which is obviously horrifying and shocking and newsworthy) but because 12 people were killed over a CARTOON.

Free speech is something we might put pretty low on the scale of freedoms until it's threatened to be taken away. Until people are KILLED over it. The very fact I'm allowed to write this blog and write books about my partying days is a testament to free speech.

What's the best advice you've ever received?

Back in the day, before my post-pregnancy belly wiggled like a bowl full of jelly, I used to party. You might have heard be talking about that before. Possibly.

And it used to be a blast! So much so that I wrote a book about it. You also might have heard me talk about that. Possibly.

Eventually, once I stopped looking for Mr. Right in all the Incredibly Wrong places, I found him. And I truly believe it was only because I stopped looking for him, at the advice of my good friend Anne Marie, that I was able to meet him.

Now five years and two kids later, I'd say we're doing pretty well! Other than a good night's sleep, I have everything I could ever want.

What's the best advice you received? Check out the full story of the best advice I ever (reluctantly) received: Stop Looking and You'll Find It.

Who do you wish would come for Christmas dinner?

Christmas is almost here! Leo keeps singing "Petit Papa Noel," the song you sing in France right before Santa comes. Except he doesn't know the words so he just keeps repeating the same line. Eleventy billion times. So cute! *bangs head against wall*

For me Christmas is all about being with family. And a little bit about food and a tiny bit about the yoga pants I know my mom shipped me from the US. But mostly about family. Which is why I'm a little sniffly this holiday season, since my grandma is no longer with us.

I wrote this piece on BLUNTmoms in her honor, so please check it out: I Wish She Would Come For Christmas Dinner. And feel free to leave a comment about who YOU wish would come for Christmas (or Hannukah or Festivus) dinner.

Hot Dogs vs. Caviar

I originally wrote this piece for BookDaily.com but I like my posts to get the maximum workout (says the author as she plops down on the couch with her laptop) so I'm sharing with all you lovelies.

Whether an author is new or established, well-known or still trying to get the word out, every sale counts. Just because an author has a great book doesn't mean it's selling well. Just because they have a nice website/book cover/marketing campaign doesn't mean they're succeeding—it could just mean they invested a lot of money upfront or that they know how to do those things themselves. You never know if an author is eating hot dogs or caviar for dinner, so if you like an author, don't be shy in supporting them!

It's A Boy!

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's healthy." Have you heard people say that? Does it drive you as crazy as it does me?

Of COURSE I want a healthy baby, but I don't see why I can't also have a preference for gender.

However, after two difficult pregnancies, I re-evaluated my stance on that statement. Check out my article on Mamalode, "A Punch In The Gut", which explores this very topic. And check out some of the other great articles on their November theme, "Men," while you're there!