Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Face Mask Fail

One of the many joys of pregnancyaside from reflux, fatigue, and perpetually being uncomfortablewas acne. Some women get that beautiful healthy glow. Lucky!

I got the teenage zit-face sheen instead. Thank you, hormones.

Face Mask: Fail

So I tried this DIY Face Mask, which I'm sure would work great for every other normal person who tried it. But I think you can tell where this post is going.

Normal person:

1. Follows directions
2. Uses honey and cinnamon, as the ingredient list states
3. Measures 1 teaspoon of each, as the directions indicate
4. Stirs in a bowl for even distribution
5. Applies gently and lets set for 5-10 minutes
6. Scrubs while removing, to exfoliate
7. Ends up with fresh, acne-free skin

Photo credit: spratmackrel / Foter / CC BY-SA

What I did:
1. Did not follow directions
2. Used lite pancake syrup because it tastes gross and I wanted to get rid of it and figured it was close enough to honey, right? Wrong. I did at least use cinnamon.
3. Did not measure the quantities, instead just eyeballing it. How hard could it be to gauge a teaspoon? Now I don't have to wash a measuring spoon!
4. Put ingredients into left palm, rubbed around with right palm. Now I don't have to wash a bowl and spoon, either!
5. Applied to face, scrubbing as I went. On this step, I was not intentionally trying to ignore instructions, I just totally spaced out.
6. Tried to let it set for 5 minutes, but only lasted 30 seconds because of the burning. Oh my god the burning! Rinsed gently but quickly, trying to remove every last trace of the wicked concoction before my entire face melted off.
7. Ended up with a bright red face that throbbed for a good 10 minutes afterwards. But... the acne had dried up!

Will I be trying this again? Maybe. Will I remember to follow directions? Probably not.

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Vicki Lesage, Author