Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Walking Dead Recap: Season 4 Episode 9: "After"

The Walking Dead Recap and Review: Season 4 Episode 9
I love Paris and I love zombies. If you like at least one, you've come to the right place. Here's this week's recap and review of The Walking Dead, "After", Season 4 Episode 9.

Yay! The Walking Dead is finally back. Without further ado, the recap:

Michonne takes in the damage at the prison. I'm really glad we start with Michonne because I could use some badassness (especially given how the rest of the episode goes). She "makes" two new zombie pets and walks around the rubble.

My heart nearly stopped when she came upon Hersel's zombified head. I shouldn't have been surprised - I mean, The Dick-tator or whatever his stupid name was, beheaded him so according to the rules of the show Hershel's head would inevitably zombify. But, like, I'm kind of still having a hard time dealing with his death from the last episode, which was a billion years ago. I just loved that guy and it was just so cruel and pointless what Dick-head did.

Thankfully Michonne put him out of his misery. At least I think she did but I had to cover the screen with my hand.

Then we see what's up with Carl and Rick, the only other people in this episode. Remember that one episode with Rick, Carl, and Michonne where Carl was a little turd and Michonne put him in his place and it became OK to like Carl? This episode isn't like that. Because Michonne is off on her own path of discovery and we're stuck with angsty little turd Carl being nothing but a miserable turd to his near-dead father. Every. Single. Conversation is a battle of wills between those two, where Rick is right, if a bit naive, and Carl is an obnoxious little turd who thinks he doesn't need his Daddy. We'll see about that, turd-face.

They go to a Mexican restaurant (oh my god, how much would you miss good Mexican food in the ZA?) and loot it, but not before nearly being killed by a ridiculously tall zombie. Which made me think. My husband is super tall and I would have a hard time killing him (for many reasons) if he ever became a zombie. Let's sincerely hope that never happens (for many reasons). They score some food, mainly tortilla chips, and it makes my mouth dry just looking at it. These dudes need to find a water supply, stat. They need to shower, for starters, clean their numerous wounds, and wash the delicous salty tortilla chip goodness down. Man, I really shouldn't write my recaps right before dinner.

Michonne crosses a path and notices some fresh human footprints. Rick and Carl? Other prison survivors? Other survivors? She doesn't give a hoot, choosing instead to cross the path and head into the woods with her pets. Her tiny group slowly turns into a horde, and within the horde she notices a zombie much like herself. Well, not really because the zombie's shirt is fugly but she's black and has dreads and bears close enough resemblance to get Michonne thinking about her fate. This is probably more due to the fact of the nightmare she had which gave us a glimpse into her backstory - she had a cute little baby boy (we KNEW she must have had a kid, based on her reaction to Judith's crying), a "lover" named Mike, and Mike had a douchey friend. Mike and Douche eventually went a little nutso with the ZA and thus became her pets. We weren't given conclusive proof on what happened to her son, but sounds like Mike likely killed him then killed himself because he didn't see the point of living after the ZA. At least we were spared the Lori-like conversation that must have entailed but man, Michonne had it rough. No wonder she usually scowls.

Anywho, she falls in with this horde but then is all like, "You know what? F this, I'm a badass." So she katanas everyone last one of those zombies, including her pets, then goes back to pick up the trail. Wheee! Maybe she will find Rick and Carl and make the scenes with Carl more bearable!

Back with Turdface and Rick, we have more of the same teen angst. I have never disliked a child as much as I disliked Carl this whole episode. With his stupid rage and his stupid pouty lips and his stupid mouth hanging open I just wanted to slap him over and over again like an animated gif.

At the same time, I get it. He's actually scared of being alone and just doesn't know it yet. So I should probably sympathize with the little turd but it's really hard when he's yelling at his dad and blaming him for everything (right, because it's ALL Rick's fault) and being reckless and stupid and leaving his mouth open.

Like, first, he yells really loudly and attracts zombies' attention. Then he tries to lure them away by walking backward and not looking where he's going and -shocker- one comes up from behind him and he almost dies. Luckily he's able to use a bunch of bullets from his enless supply (oh...wait) and survive. So of course this makes him cocky. God, he's insufferable. Then he gets into another embroil with a zombie, and this time loses his shoe. Why couldn't it be the hat? Why is he even still wearing the hat if he hates his dad so much?

Then, and this is the worst, he eats an entire 112 oz. container of chocolate pudding. Why is that the worst? Because he takes tiny little wussy bites. I know actors aren't supposed to stuff their face while filming because after 42 takes they will have consumed way too much food/drink/whatever they're supposed to be consuming. But I'm sorry, it just wasn't realistic. I remember when my brother (who still doesn't read my recaps, boo) was that age and he would eat everything in 3 bites. Burger? 3 bites. Piece of chocolate cake? 3 bites. I would say "Why don't you slow down and savor it? That way you can really enjoy it." And he would respond, "This IS how I enjoy it." So, yeah, sorry, but I don't believe that a starving teenage boy with no adult supervision would eat pudding like the Queen of England. Just add it to the list of reasons I can't stand the kid.

Then he comes home to his comatose dad and I'm all, "They wouldn't actually kill Rick, would they?" First Hershel, then (maybe) Judith, then Rick? I don't think I can watch The Carl Show without Rick.

But fortunately they just did a little fake-out where we thought Rick was dead and zombified but really he's just in super bad shape and making zombie-sounding wheezing noises. Whew. Thank god Carl was too big of a wussy to actually shoot his dad, giving him enough time to realize his dad didn't actually need to be shot. And, ok, I guess I need to not be too harsh with him. He already had to shoot his mom and it's actually a good thing he wasn't able to shoot his dad so easily. Fine, the kid's alright. I said it.

Then, we end the episode on a nice note - Michonne managed to track them down and knocks on the front door. Reunited!

Can't wait to find out next week what happened to the rest of the crew. Who's alive? Who's in whose group? What's their plan? See you next week!